I promise him bitterness, salt, the tastes of all my dead, gold and wax, the roots of trees. Against me, he is scaffolding, linen, bicep and thigh, all newness: private liturgy of high school hunger, snow collecting on his parents’ car. I've just observed Hanukah, the consecrated fuel that burned on faith, young enough to believe in the miracle that’s mine alone: a forsaken fuse and the hands that light it, the labor of soldiers and battle and cold, then the flame. He finds me in handfuls — first hair, then skin, then cries, then silence, his torso redressed, tying his sneakers. “You'd be better at this,” he says, at touching so quickly, efficient and practiced, “if you stopped thinking so much.” But I have the worries of my great-aunts, their consonant names. After he leaves, the snow melts to puddles, the engine of my mouth runs on the fumes of God.