Aug 18, 2015

Get Outta That Spaceship and Fight Like a Man

Written by David Hernandez

Read by Matthew Guenette

You done landed on the wrong side of the country, amigo.
Done mess with the state you never mess with. Y’know,
I got an arsenal back home, I can convert your shiny disc
into one of them colanders, but I’m willing to settle this

mano-a-mano. Hell, I’ll let you take the first swing.
I betcha brawl like a schoolgirl, all wrists and spinning
pigtails. My father done taught me how to whip some.
Lessons, he called them. Taught me until I grown

as tall as he. Quit stalling. What’s wrong, you ain’t got
no manos? Got them weird octopus things? You might
very well be green, but right now yous yellow to me.
In these parts, there’s only one right color. Too many

illegals sneaking in along the border. I’d stop them
personally with a double-barreled if not for some dumb
law. None against taking down a UFO, I reckon.
Now you just sit there glowing. I’ll be back in a second.