All gospels spell it out the same way. In the beginning, there was a promising baseball card collection and casserole dinners. From there, the stories diverge. One goes thus: an invitation begot a coffee break begot a matinee begot her legs wrapped tightly around his legs begot a mortgage begot a child. The child wasn't the child they wished for but he was a child. He had many qualities that marked him as a child. His first word was alpha, the word they knew him by thereafter. He grew and lived among them until they kicked him out for general laziness. Take a bath, they called. Take your comic books. Take a hike, so he hiked for forty minutes at a comfortable pace of forty meters per hour. Then he spent time wandering the desert in his Honda Civic hatchback, drinking from a canteen and talking to stick figures he drew in the sand. Then he cast himself down on a friend's couch. He mastered Metroid there, perfected Mac and Cheese. There he gathered men around him, saying "Let's go fish," saying, "Someone bring some goddamn beer." Someone brought some goddamn beer. They fashioned a fishing boat from a life raft, cast out nets and caught lake trout. That night they feasted on everything but bones. An "I-Can't-Stand-My-Father" chant started up, but soon it lost their interest. Someone pointed to the stars and said, "We made all this. Can you believe it?" No one could believe it.